Mr cucumber

hey there... 

do you ever have a thought before you come out with your decision?

have you thought about me?

about how am I gonna break into tiny pieces?

I guess you don't.

hey you.

Although that I know that you won't make a move here

you won't take this and digest them

but I'm still typing them,

my hidden words.

that buried inside my soul.

hey you, 

was it easy for you?

was it easy to create excuses?

was it just my dream?

If so, I guess its a long dream

Long night with some nightmare ending.

hey you,

so how is that girl huh?

bet that she's much better than me

sorry that I can't always be great

I have my bad side.

you can't accept it.

can't deny the fact

I'm a normal human being

but to me,

you was superhuman

you was perfect

hey you, 

what are the plans you wanna create with her in future?

the same one we did?

or so much more powerful promises?

oh did I forgot to say that you are indebtedness

with whom?

its me..

your broken promises

never mind, I'll throw them anyway 

I'm strong enough to resist I guess

so, here it is.

happy ending for you

and so much more lovely starting for me

have a bless from God :)

Mr.Cucumber

It's been so long

waiting for you to turn around.

kneeling on the ground

praying that you'll see

that I'm the only one who give you the very best of me

Trying to accept the fate

but I know how it feels

it kills me every second of my breath

I can't take it no more.

dealing with the fate

trying to fix the broken future

my broken wings

my broken heart

almost paralyzed

can't be rational

can't think no more

the heart say yes but my mind say no

they said I'm crazy for staying here

waiting for some miracle to happen

though I know the possibility is a major no.

Telling the God 

the worst feelings I had

Tell Him the pain that He could take it back

but this feelings is right

it won't vanish

just not the right time

Ask myself if I could wait

and they say yes

yes

yes

yes

I'm gonna wait.

till the right time

the right feelings still here right in the heart

you're the right one

the right one

Baby when everything is okay

when all the things are fine

when all the set up is ready

Please comeback 

so we can do it all over again

I promise we'll make it right

:)

Mr.cucumber

hey there,

I wonder if ever anything would bring you over here.

how's your life?

is it feels good?

or much better back then?

writing this because you know exactly how I feel..

How I can just have the conversation in my mind...

How I just have tiny line between your life and mine?

I just can scroll over the screen

keep the conversations save in the hard disk

Printed out all the pictures..

keeping all the things in the box.

I guess I should keep my mind instead,.

I wish my mind have the delete button.

and the rewind button stop functioning

It's not because I'm regretting 

but it's because I feel the pain.

the pain that I have to make myself realize that I can't even call you mine.

I thought that you already had totally erase my data in your big head

being blind from seeing me

or I'm just the one who turns to an invisible girl

well,I guess I was wrong this time

I know you're still looking at my profile back then

still looking at the texts that you kept with no reply,

Well, I'm kidding, 

this is just my imagination that I put my hopes on,

But it's happening inversely 

You know, you're on my mind like I really wanna erase you by distracting myself 

Trying to join my friends talking about others,

avoid listening to our lovely songs,

favorite movies and colors

I have done everything to erase the data,

somehow the more I'm deleting, you keep appearing in my dream

still mentioning your name in my prayer, man

because I don't even know how to skip your name and your family.

I prefer to pray alone where I can cry to God 

to express everything I keep inside,

even-though I know He knows everything.

the latest dream was 2 days ago.

I was thinking that you're forgetting my birthday.

but I received a card in my dream

"I don't forget about you.. " with our favorite number.

Woke up with sweat because I was so shocked. 

again

It was just a dream

Hey there you beautiful creature,

I know both of us at our own turning point

Maybe I couldn't reach this to you,

but if you did .

if you manage to come over here.

Note that , you need to come back when all the things are right

When the things are ready

because you know how the heart wants what it wants.

come back when you're ready.

Not sure about me in future.

because my expectation always wrong.

Like I did on our future.

even if you're not with me one day, May Allah grand you with the best person because you deserve.

I once told you that, love is about sacrifices and now I'm showing you how to do it

If you ever feel alone. Talk to God. I'm doing the same things too.