Mr.cucumber

hey there,

I wonder if ever anything would bring you over here.

how's your life?

is it feels good?

or much better back then?

writing this because you know exactly how I feel..

How I can just have the conversation in my mind...

How I just have tiny line between your life and mine?

I just can scroll over the screen

keep the conversations save in the hard disk

Printed out all the pictures..

keeping all the things in the box.

I guess I should keep my mind instead,.

I wish my mind have the delete button.

and the rewind button stop functioning

It's not because I'm regretting 

but it's because I feel the pain.

the pain that I have to make myself realize that I can't even call you mine.

I thought that you already had totally erase my data in your big head

being blind from seeing me

or I'm just the one who turns to an invisible girl

well,I guess I was wrong this time

I know you're still looking at my profile back then

still looking at the texts that you kept with no reply,

Well, I'm kidding, 

this is just my imagination that I put my hopes on,

But it's happening inversely 

You know, you're on my mind like I really wanna erase you by distracting myself 

Trying to join my friends talking about others,

avoid listening to our lovely songs,

favorite movies and colors

I have done everything to erase the data,

somehow the more I'm deleting, you keep appearing in my dream

still mentioning your name in my prayer, man

because I don't even know how to skip your name and your family.

I prefer to pray alone where I can cry to God 

to express everything I keep inside,

even-though I know He knows everything.

the latest dream was 2 days ago.

I was thinking that you're forgetting my birthday.

but I received a card in my dream

"I don't forget about you.. " with our favorite number.

Woke up with sweat because I was so shocked. 

again

It was just a dream

Hey there you beautiful creature,

I know both of us at our own turning point

Maybe I couldn't reach this to you,

but if you did .

if you manage to come over here.

Note that , you need to come back when all the things are right

When the things are ready

because you know how the heart wants what it wants.

come back when you're ready.

Not sure about me in future.

because my expectation always wrong.

Like I did on our future.

even if you're not with me one day, May Allah grand you with the best person because you deserve.

I once told you that, love is about sacrifices and now I'm showing you how to do it

If you ever feel alone. Talk to God. I'm doing the same things too.